Member Feature: Kate
👩‍👦 Parenting with Long COVID

Parenting can lead to heated debates and judgement at the best of times. We all like to think our way is the best way but ultimately, you’ve got to do what’s right for you, your household and your family. So if your parenting style doesn’t align to mine then please don’t read this as a judgement!

Pre-COVID, I was an outdoor mum, and the kind of mum who didn’t allow too much screen time. We would head out in the morning, usually with a picnic and some spare clothes, and most days wouldn’t be home until mid-afternoon where I would then stand up to cook tea. The aim of the day was to get as tired and mucky as possible. I loved it; living in a town with beaches, woods and open grassland was such a privilege and we took full advantage. I should also mention that my little boy is high energy. Super high energy.

Even after Long COVID was suspected, I still managed to be fairly active. Although we swapped outdoor days for some soft play days, I still coped quite well…until October 2023 when something triggered a huge flare-up in my symptoms  and I couldn’t do it anymore. 

Cue panic. I could no longer get out all day, I could barely manage an hour! And kids don’t always understand this kind of stuff. He just wanted - and needed - to burn off some energy. And I didn’t want him having the TV on all the time, or caving and buying him a tablet.

We utilised a few soft plays in our local area but that was often too much for me because of noise stimulation. My partner would take him out and run riot which was great but I was missing out. The mum guilt was insane! So I knew we had to find a middle ground. I also knew that in order to be able to give others what they needed, I had to become a little selfish.

I worked hard on my mental health to become more resilient and I worked to accept using things like mobility aids. I managed to borrow a wheelchair and a walking stick, which allowed me to get out a bit more. Borrowing these types of aids meant I had to challenge some of my own internalised ableism. It was also an opportunity to teach my son about this I explained to him that sometimes my legs just don't want to hold me up and those days I need some extra help. We talked about how some people might use a wheelchair all the time, some of the time or very rarely and we talked in very simple terms about how ambulatory wheelchair users often face discrimination. My four-year-old boy didn't even bat an eyelid, possibly because he's seen it first-hand with me, but he's been curious, considerate and his usual wonderful self about it. 

I learnt to prioritise rest and to let my partner take over the less important things like bedtime, so I could do the things that were important to me like reading his stories or doing some school stuff together.

I learnt to adapt and become more accepting around screen time. I still don’t allow hours of endless TV watching, but I have learnt to roll with it and find a middle ground. YouTube has a TON of kids’ exercise videos and games. Dinosaur yoga, as it’s now called in our house, covers anything remotely exercise-based, and has become a firm favourite. It allows my son to burn off some energy, it’s not too noisy, and I can be right there. Some days I can even join in a little!

Ultimately, it comes down to priorities. It was more important to me to be involved than it was to refuse screen time. Using YouTube has allowed me to be present, and that was the deciding factor for me. Same with using mobility aids: taking my wheelchair and being able to spend two whole hours in the Science Museum was wonderful.

If you’re a parent with Long COVID and wondering how to cope then please know you are not alone. Reach out for help, get creative and adaptive with activities and use YouTube to your advantage! And examine your priorities... If screen time is an absolute no for you, then you might need to get comfortable with being an observer, or missing out altogether. Just know that whatever you do, you’ll never please everyone anyway!

Good luck to all you parents out there navigating this.

-Kate

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